What would happen if you got everything you ever wanted? I doubt that would ever happen to me, since there is always more to want. Still, I have a lot of what I wanted. I am married, I have a beautiful daughter, and I have a meaningful career that I will go back to once I am no longer a stay-at-home mom.
My decision to stay-at-home was difficult, and it is the hardest job I have ever had. As I approach the anniversary of my lack of employment, I can barely recognize myself. I have always wanted to live in a big house with a maid (or 3) and a cook. I finally did have a maid, but I had to give that up when I quit working. I am now a maid and a cook in a house that only feels big when you have to clean it. I never wanted to be a maid or cook. Yet, I have found joy in cleaning and cooking. Who is this girl who makes a homemade meal and dessert? Since when is a clean baseboard so satisfying?
With my newfoud domesticity, I have decided maybe I should try other things I never wanted. So this summer, 2011, will be the summer of gardening. I do not like to get my hands dirty. I never made mudpies or even liked sandboxes as a child. I do remember pretending to be rabbits with my sister and eating lettuce straight out of our garden. I remember loving my grandparents' gardens. I want my daughter to have such memories, and I do love a challenge.
The seeds have been purchased, the garden is tilled, and now it is waiting to be planted. Luckily, the weather did not cooperate. I could not find my gardening gloves, and though I was determined, as it began to rain, I breathed a little sigh of relief. Maybe tomorrow.
